Fallen Dreams
by Bart Foxworth Jr
Summary: A Heaven & Troy fanfic.


~ Fallen Dreams : The Untold Story of Heaven and Troy ~  
  
Annie had just turned three. She was beautiful, a replica of Heaven. I was glad that there wasn't any of me in her that was obvious yet. After I had left Farthy again, when Jillian died, I hadn't expected to ever see Heaven again. Yet I learned of her pregnancy, and I knew the baby was mine.  
  
I even prayed that it was mine. It was wrong to want it to be mine, but I wanted it so much. I myself took a glance at the blood results Heaven had done for Annie, unknown by Logan. Annie was mine. And I was happy. I had sent Heaven a replica of my cottage, to let her know that I knew Annie was my daughter and not Logan's. I know Heaven kept the cottage close to her. I hoped every time she opened it, and heard the soft twinkling of Chopin, that she would think of me.  
  
I wanted to send Annie presents, but was unable to. Tony did,even though I myself thought he had no right to do so. I had lost faith in my older brother. He had failed me. It was his fault that me and Heaven could never be married. That really hurt. I kept my locket close to my heart, knowing Heaven's dark hairs were inside, making me whole.  
  
I wished Jillian and Tony had never told us of our origin. They had selfishly ruined our perfect world. I knew that Heaven loved me more than Logan. It was wrong, I know, but she did. I wanted to see her badly, yet again I didn't want to cause any further pain to her.  
  
"Would you watch where you're going?" a very rude woman hissed at me while I was out shopping at Boston. I was going to apologize, but she was already gone. I shook my head, wondering what was wrong with these people. I turned and bumped into another woman, and her bags fell to the floor.  
  
"Oh...I'm so sorry!" I cried, bending down to retrieve them for her. "Here you..." I said, looking up into the woman's face. Her face was as frozen as mine, and I saw the happiness start to glitter in her cornflower blue eyes. I stood up, too stunned to move. I was facing Heaven! She hadn't changed at all, except her hair was back to it's natural color. She decided to make the first move, thankfully.  
  
"Troy..." she said, as a smile broke across her face. I couldn't respond, I just stared at her. I wanted her so bad. I silently handed her the bags, and she took them, although she didn't move her eyes from mine.  
  
Her hand touched mine and my whole body jolted with warm shivers and surprising electricity. Suddenly she was pulling me to a nearby café. I wanted to protest, yet, truly I was glad she wanted me still. But it was so wrong! She pulled me to a booth, where we sat together, across from one another.  
  
"Troy...how have you been?" she asked.  
  
"Ok," I said, looking down. I felt her hand on top of mine. My heart quivered.  
  
"Troy I missed you. I never imagined I'd find you here...yet I had hope," she whispered. I looked into her eyes.  
  
"What do you...mean?" I forced myself to ask. A small smile played on her lips.  
  
"I'd have to show you," she said. A waitress came to ask if we was ready to order. Heaven turned to her, ordered roast beef. I ordered the same.  
  
"Show me what?" I whispered, but she just held her smile.  
  
"Later," she said.  
  
After we had ate, we left the café.  
  
"Close your eyes Troy," Heaven whispered, as it began to snow. I nodded, closing my eyes. I let her lead me to wherever we were going. Then we stopped and I opened my eyes. I saw an apartment complex. I shifted my eyes to Heaven.  
  
"Why...why are you showing me this?" I asked, as her eyes glittered as the snow fell on us.  
  
"You'll see," she whispered, pulling me inside. I followed her upstairs, to the second floor. She got out a key and unlocked the second door on the floor and led me inside. The door she locked behind her.  
  
"I rented this apartment...just in case," Heaven said softly. I looked at her, amazed that she had done this. I shook my head as she dropped her bags, unshed her coat. She came over to me, slowly taking my coat off my shoulders. I just stared at her, wondering if I were dreaming. I closed my eyes, and I felt her lips softly gliding across my neck.  
  
"Troy..." Heaven whispered. I shook my head, wanting to deny her..yet my body and soul couldn't.  
  
"Heaven...we...can't," I managed, and opened my eyes to see her gazing up at me.  
  
"I love you," she said.  
  
"And Logan?" I asked.  
  
"Troy..you know that no one...no one but you will ever fill my heart...Logan...I love him...but not in the way I love you," she softly said.  
  
"But if he finds out..."  
  
"He won't," she muttered, kissing my cold hands.  
  
"He's always away on business..." Her arms went around me. I softly moaned.  
  
"Heaven..."  
  
"Tell me that you still love me Troy," she whispered. I closed my eyes, and buried my face into her dark hair.  
  
"You know that I will always love you," I murmured.  
  
"Prove it," she whispered, kissing my lips deeply.  
  
God help me, I wanted her. She was mine. I kissed her back, with as much passion as she kissed me. I picked her up and carried her into the small bedroom. I laid her down softly on the bed, then sat down beside her.  
  
My hands went to unbutton the blouse she wore. I ran my hands down over her stomach and started to undo her jeans. I slipped her clothes off her, making them a pile on the floor. I gazed at her. She was so beautiful.  
  
She sat up and fingered the buttons on my shirt. I tilted her face to mine and kissed her deeply. She unbuttoned my shirt and I moaned when she began to kiss my bare chest. She undid my pants, then we laid back. We were both performing a ritual, a ritual of kisses and caresses.  
  
We kissed every inch of the other's body, not missing a spot. Our hands caressed each other. I stroked her dark hair as she stroked mine, kissed every one of her fingertips.  
  
"I love you more than anything in the world Heavenly,"I whispered, bringing her hand to my heart.  
  
"You are the only person who can make my heart beat so fast...only person that I long so hard for. If I ever lost you...I don't know what I would do." She smiled and leaned to kiss me.  
  
Our kisses grew more and more passionate. Heaven was meant to be with me, if not in reality, then in soul. She was the only one who could ever understand, the only one who wanted to understand.  
  
Not a word did either of us say as my body covered hers. I kissed her forehead, each cheek, her nose, then her mouth. Only then did I let myself enter her. I felt her hands on my back and shoulders, and in my hair. We began slowly, but our passion for one another grew and grew, and crashed like the waves in the ocean.  
  
I heard her calling my name, and it made me wonder if she silently called my name when she were with Logan...how selfish to think that, but I loved her so much. I needed her so much. I hadn't ever needed anyone before, not until I met Heaven.  
  
I called her name too, telling her again and again that I loved her, was the only one for her. I thought we would melt into one another as our climaxes came. We were both still breathing hard as I buried my face into her neck. I was going to lay beside her, but her arms held me tight. And she raised her head to kiss me.  
  
"I love you Troy...this can't be wrong," she whispered. I looked down into her eyes.  
  
"It isn't," I convinced her. "It's too beautiful and loving to not be right. We were meant to be together, in one form or another," I said. She moved over so I could lay beside her. I laced her hand with mine and kissed it.  
  
"Stay the weekend Troy," Heaven whispered.  
  
"What about Annie...?"  
  
"Annie is being taken care of at home. I was supposed to stay in Boston the weekend to do some shopping," she said. Her eyes were pleading.  
  
"Please Troy...please...?" How could I say no? How could I ever say no? If she had asked me to kill someone, I would have.  
  
"I'll stay," I whispered. She smiled and turned to face me. I let her rest her head on my chest. She was listening contentedly to my heartbeat, as I stroked her hair. I wanted to be with her always. I hated it that Logan had asked her to marry him, just hated it.  
  
What would you have done, Troy? Ask her to marry you? Maybe. Wouldn't it be wrong, Troy? No. No? No. Why is it not wrong, Troy? Because I love her. Do you really? Yes. Would you die for her? Yes. Why? Because I love her. Heaven fell fast asleep. I laid my head on top of hers and held her close. A whole weekend with Heaven...was this just torment? If so, I didn't care. I was with Heaven, I was happy.  
  
I went with Heaven the next day, out shopping. Logan had wanted her to buy some clothes for Annie in Boston, and a bed for her, when she got older. He didn't call Heaven, even though she had given him the number for her apartment. I knew I would never answer the phone.  
  
After Heaven had everything she needed, she took the things she bought back to her apartment. I had bought her something too, although she protested that I had gotten her anything.  
  
She was looking at her reflection in the bathroom mirror when I came up behind her. Not a word did I say as I draped a silver chain with a turquoise teardrop on the chain. I fastened it as her hand went to touch the teardrop. She turned, and our eyes locked.  
  
"What was that for?" she softly asked.  
  
"All the happy tears I cry when you're around," I said, leaning to kiss her. Instantly her arms went around my neck. We ended up on the bed again, sweetly and beautifully making love, both of our faces streaked with tears after it was over. We ordered a pizza for dinner, and I held her in my arms until she fell asleep.  
  
When I woke up, I groaned, hating that it was Sunday, my last day with Heaven. We went to the park, walking with our hands laced together. Sometimes I feared Logan might show up, just to check up on Heaven, but he never did. Never would I have spent so much time away from Heaven.  
  
"I'm going to find a way for us to be together soon," she said that night, as I held her in my arms, as we sat on the floor of the balcony.  
  
"You mustn't do that," I whispered. She asked why not, I told her she shouldn't, Logan could find out. She turned to me and said she didn't care. She loved me. I asked her if she loved Logan. She was silent for a long moment.  
  
"He's different since we were younger...I'd be lying if I said I didn't love him..but I love you more Troy. I always will," she said.  
  
"I wished Tony and Jillian would have let us be," I whispered.  
  
"I wanted to marry you. I now know that you were right about my dreams...for we have Annie. What if Logan finds out Annie is mine?" I asked. Heaven shook her head and insisted he wouldn't. She shivered as a cool breeze stirred up the air.  
  
"Are you cold?" I asked. When she nodded, I lifted her up into my arms and carried her inside. We got under the covers of her bed, wrapping our arms securely around each others.  
  
"I wished we could have gotten married," Heaven said wistfully, sadly. I stroked her beautiful dark hair.  
  
"So do I."  
  
"I'm never leaving you," she told me. I hoped it would remain true. I felt her lips on my neck, and we made love again, then fell soundly asleep.  
  
In the morning I helped Heaven pack her things into her car. I walked her outside, and as we approached her car, suddenly she turned to me, clasping my hands with hers.  
  
"I will leave you a sign that will tell you that I will be back," she said. Strangely, I didn't ask what kind of sign, or where. She kissed me deeply.  
  
"I love you Troy Tatterton," she whispered, feeling my body with absolute longing for her.  
  
"I love you too, my beautiful Heavenly," I said. We kissed one more before she reluctantly let go of my hand, getting into her car. I watched her drive off.  
  
I didn't hear from Heaven two weeks later, and began to wonder if I had only been dreaming, when I went outside of my cottage to walk through the maze. And there, on the maze hedge, was a blue ribbon, fluttering in the wind. I seized it and deeply inhaled it. It was Heaven's.  
  
I smelled her sweet perfume. I closed my eyes and put the soft ribbon against my cheek. She hadn't forgotten. I had no idea when she would come to me, but I keep the ribbon in my locket I wore around my neck, the one with Heaven's dark strands of hair inside.  
  
I was working on a new toy model three days later. The weather was considerably cold, and I wore a black sweater, and a blanket around myself. I didn't hear the door open and close. If I had, I would have thought it were only Tony.  
  
I was so into my work, I didn't sense anyone was there, until I felt warm arms sliding around my neck. A warm shiver traveled down my spine. I knew wh it was without looking. Heaven. I sensed her kneel down, and then she blew air close to my hair so it softly tickled.  
  
"I'm sorry I didn't hear you come in," I said, turning to look at her.  
  
"It's ok I know how you get with your toys," she said with a smile, examining my newest work.  
  
"You're so talented Troy," Heaven said. My eyes lifted to meet sincerely with hers.  
  
"You made a wonderful teacher," I said. For a moment we just looked at each other, then I felt her arms go around me.  
  
"I missed you so much Troy. You were always in my thoughts," she softly said. I nodded.  
  
"I missed you too...and you are always in my thoughts." I set about fixing us something to eat, then we cuddled up close by the fire, my hands entwined with hers. I smoothed her hair back, kissed her ear.  
  
"How long can we be together?" I asked. Heaven was silent for a few minutes.  
  
"As long as you want," she said. From then on, I knew that when I found one of Heaven's ribbons fluttering on the hedges, that she would be with me in three days. I got so excited sometimes, that it became hard for me to sleep at times.  
  
We secretly saw each other for five long years. Then I found out Tony had caught us last time. He threatened to tell Logan, and I pleaded with him. He finally agreed, and I sadly told Heaven the news.  
  
Her eyes went alarmingly stark and cold. She blinked twice, not really looking at anything.  
  
"Ok," she forced herself to say, although I knew her heart was breaking inside, like mine. Before we parted that night, she was going to the door, to go home and leave. But she turned and ran into my arms.  
  
"I don't want to leave you," she said. I soothed her with my soft words, with soft caresses.  
  
"You will never leave me, Heaven. You are in my heart always," I said, grasping the locket around my neck. Her hand went to the teardrop turquoise she had under her sweater. She told Logan it was a gift from her sister Jane. She looked at me with pleading eyes.  
  
"Love me Troy," she whispered, her arms holding fast to me.  
  
"One last time, please. Make it slow so I can relieve it forever," she said.  
  
We slowly undressed each other, then took a long time kissing, caressing, holding each other. We made love for the last time. I tried my best to make it the most wonderful time ever. It was, since I held myself back a much longer time, showing her that I loved her enough to go through that torment.  
  
We laid in each others arms after it was over, but we couldn't stop touching, stop kissing. Then an hour went by, and Heaven had to go. She dressed and turned to me, her eyes sad. She put her arms around my neck, kissed me deeply for the last time, then whispered the words 'I love you' in my ear.  
  
"I love you Heaven," I said. She looked back, then left. My heart was breaking inside. I watched her drive away Farthy. I knew she was gone for good this time. Heaven didn't come to see me again, although one day, five months after she had left, I found a blue ribbon fluttering slowly. I saw it was wrapped partially around a piece of paper that had been rolled up like a diploma. I took it and cautiously opened it.  
  
To My Dearest Troy...  
  
It has been lonely the last five months without you around. I miss you so much. I long for you to be by my side, and I know it is not right to think like this because of Logan, but I do. I hope you don't give in to your dreams. If I died, I would be greatly saddened. Our daughter has grown beautifully, as you will see. She looks more like me, but her hair is much darker than mine. She just turned eight, and is very darling. You would love her. I hope one day you get the opportunity to meet her. I have enclosed some pictures of her, for you, my love. This is the child we created. The child our love for each other made. And it was beautiful. Don't let Tony or anyone else convince you otherwise. You're always in my dreams, and in my thoughts. I love you, and I'll always love you.  
  
With All the Love in My Heart,  
  
Heaven  
  
That's when I started to cry, holding the sweet-scented paper close to my heart. I looked inside an enclosed envelope, looked at the pictures of the child we had lovingly created. I kept the pictures in a small wooden box that I had specially carved. I went into the cottage and lifted a music box, one that played Chopin. I sat down on the floor before the fire, my hands tucked behind my head, as I thought of Heaven and the memories here. And I wondered if she was in her room, the cottage beside her, listening to the same Chopin melody. I knew she was. 


End file.
